this is my health ~
Intention: I move my body joy*fully; I grate*fully eat health*full, nourishing foods; I sleep deeply and well at night and wake feeling refreshed and pain-free; I have plenty of energy to get through the entire day without napping.
Do yoga and strength training three times per week.
Join Weight Watchers after my c-section recovery
Continue to practice loving-kindness meditation and relaxation exercises.
Use my dialectical behavior therapy skills to cope with distress and regulate my emotions.
these are my relationships:
Intention: I enjoy loving, warm relationships with my family and friends, where it is safe to communicate openly and honestly while speaking words that build, bless, and comfort
Continue to teach my daughter behaviors that will enable her to fully function and be happy as a child and into her adulthood
Write more snail mail.
Use my dialectical behavior therapy skills to communicate honestly while speaking words that build, bless, and comfort.
this is my abundance:
Intention: I enjoy abundant love, abundant resources, and abundant finances.
Build a savings
Communicate honestly
Practice loving-kindness meditation and radiate love.
Advertise for piano students.
this is my creativity/purpose:
Intention: I connect often with the divine within myself, and enjoy my creativity and my work.
Devote myself to the study of becoming a birth doula, and an independent music teacher
Get my study materials for becoming a DONA member and birth doula as soon as I can afford them and study and work hard.
Continue my track record of academic excellence as I continue my studies of business
Continue to cultivate my spirituality.
this is how i practice self-love/self-care:
Intention: It is safe to live my life in a way that is loving and caring toward myself.
Do a weekly artist date.
Practice loving-kindness meditation.
Take my medications and make sure I don't run out.
Keep working toward eating in a balanced way.
Keep working toward regular exercise.
this is how i experience happiness/adventure:
Intention: I experience happiness and adventure grate*fully, and I enjoy the present moment.
Practice mind*fullness
Practice mind*fullness
Practice mind*fullness
Stay present in the moment when I am feeling happy rather than waiting for the other shoe to drop.
love~
elizabeth
Friday, January 21, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
100 dreams...the 2011 version
a couple of these are marked "private" because they deal with helping my in-laws with things that i don't think they'd want to see plastered on the internet. thanks in advance for your understanding :)
1. Birth a healthy baby in May.
2. Continue working on open communication in my marriage.
3. Get the rest of the seasons of Friends on DVD.
4. Continue working toward my degree.
5. Continue to maintain excellent grades.
6. Build up a savings.
6. Pay down my debt~got a start on this one; not a big start, but a start.
8. Continue to build up my marykay inventory~made progress.
9. attend a mets game at citi field~did not do this one; will be a dream for 2011
10. Practice meditation consistently
11. Read daily - and something other than a daybook!
12. Get regular manicure/pedicure
13. Go on a weekly date with my husband
14. Plan a honeymoon with my husband.
15. Get melanie potty-trained.
16. Find piano students~i have two; working on building my studio
17. Sample local finger lakes wines~goal for summer 2011.
18. Create a raised-bed garden...vegetables and herbs.
19. Learn to take great landscape photos
20. Attend celebrate your life
21. Create an indoor herb garden
22. Create a meditation spot in the back yard
23. Rebuild my collection of SARK books.
24. Give a weekly contribution to my church
25. Tithe to charities I find worthy.
26. Recover the songs i wrote that i lost on my old computer.~ work in progress.
27. Visit Aunt Kay.
28. Write a bio to accompany website and other internet postings
29. Write gratitudes daily.
30. Keep morning pages every day~also a work in progress
31. Learn photoshop.
32. Take a yoga class.
33. Attend new york football giants' training camp.
34. Attend a new york football giants' game at the new stadium
35. Invite Jess, Tressa, Earl, Gail, JoAnn, and Merideth to Marc's baptism party.
36. Send regular snail mail.
37. Become fluent in another language
38.Get all my christmas decorations up by the day after thanksgiving
39. Drink more water.
40. Memorize the gettysburg address.
41. Memorize my three favorite poems.
42. Memorize the declaration of independence,
43. Learn which constitutional amendment grants which freedom.
44. Visit a national park.
45. Finish the knit/crochet projects i started for christmas presents in 2009.
46. Take weekly spa showers.
47. Learn to sew!
48. Spend quiet time working on songwriting.
49. Write more music.
50. practice radical acceptance of myself as i am: still a work-in-progress
51. memorize the sigma alpha iota symphony.
52. Join DONA.
53. Work on becoming a certified birth doula.
54. Practice emotion regulation
55. do something everyday off the pleasant activities list.
56. create a self-soothe kit.
57. Bake all the christmas cookies i want to in time for christmas.
58. Keep trying new recipes.
59. Stay active every mary kay quarter.
60. Do a weekly artist date.
61. Keep full ink cartridges in my printer.
62. Create an image journal.
63. Establish a routine of regular exercise.
64. Crochet or knit daily.
65. Visit the corning/corelleware store in corning.
66. Stop relying on meds to help me sleep.
67. Practice keeping a positive outlook.
68.. Reconnect with ned b. fleischer.
69. Keep working on not acting out of fear
70. Keep working on not living in fear.
71. Knit a pair of socks.
72. Go back to Weight Watchers. (eight weeks after c-section)
73. Get back up to 10,000 steps per day by June 1.
74. Attend an information session for Empire State College.
75. Get dressed to hair, face, and shoes every day. (Or, stop treating life like a dress rehearsal!)
76. Work on developing a consistent homeschooling schedule with Melanie.
77. (*private*)
78. Keep exploring my feelings regarding my family.
79. Keep working on re-establishing relationships with my family.
80. Read a book about the lives and times of Catholic saints.
81. Write a positive-themed blog post at least once a week.
82. Keep percolating on the idea of "The Courage to be Thin," either as a separate blog or a non-fiction work.
83. Continue to study and practice dialectical behavior therapy.
84. Stay out of the hospital after baby Marc comes home (ie, no psychiatric hospitalization this time).
85. Read the creating dreams come true blog every Friday.
86. Write a response to the creating dreams come true blog post every week.
87. Spend time with my BFF over Christmas break.
88. Keep up my 4.0 grade-point average.
89. Walk the Simple Abundance path.
90. Use a different daybook every year. (I have about a billion.)
91. (*private*)
92. Help Mom and Dad establish a budget.
93. Stop drinking Coke.
94. Be true to myself. In all my splendidness. In all my imperfectness.
95. Read "Be Here Now," by Ram Dass.
96. Stop letting TV schedules dictate my life.
97. Give up going out to eat for Lent (other than eating on campus).
98. Get a prenatal yoga DVD.
99. Teach Melanie the Lord's Prayer and the Hail Mary.
100. Take Melanie to Catholic church with me.
love~
elizabeth
1. Birth a healthy baby in May.
2. Continue working on open communication in my marriage.
3. Get the rest of the seasons of Friends on DVD.
4. Continue working toward my degree.
5. Continue to maintain excellent grades.
6. Build up a savings.
6. Pay down my debt~got a start on this one; not a big start, but a start.
8. Continue to build up my marykay inventory~made progress.
9. attend a mets game at citi field~did not do this one; will be a dream for 2011
10. Practice meditation consistently
11. Read daily - and something other than a daybook!
12. Get regular manicure/pedicure
13. Go on a weekly date with my husband
14. Plan a honeymoon with my husband.
15. Get melanie potty-trained.
16. Find piano students~i have two; working on building my studio
17. Sample local finger lakes wines~goal for summer 2011.
18. Create a raised-bed garden...vegetables and herbs.
19. Learn to take great landscape photos
20. Attend celebrate your life
21. Create an indoor herb garden
22. Create a meditation spot in the back yard
23. Rebuild my collection of SARK books.
24. Give a weekly contribution to my church
25. Tithe to charities I find worthy.
26. Recover the songs i wrote that i lost on my old computer.~ work in progress.
27. Visit Aunt Kay.
28. Write a bio to accompany website and other internet postings
29. Write gratitudes daily.
30. Keep morning pages every day~also a work in progress
31. Learn photoshop.
32. Take a yoga class.
33. Attend new york football giants' training camp.
34. Attend a new york football giants' game at the new stadium
35. Invite Jess, Tressa, Earl, Gail, JoAnn, and Merideth to Marc's baptism party.
36. Send regular snail mail.
37. Become fluent in another language
38.Get all my christmas decorations up by the day after thanksgiving
39. Drink more water.
40. Memorize the gettysburg address.
41. Memorize my three favorite poems.
42. Memorize the declaration of independence,
43. Learn which constitutional amendment grants which freedom.
44. Visit a national park.
45. Finish the knit/crochet projects i started for christmas presents in 2009.
46. Take weekly spa showers.
47. Learn to sew!
48. Spend quiet time working on songwriting.
49. Write more music.
50. practice radical acceptance of myself as i am: still a work-in-progress
51. memorize the sigma alpha iota symphony.
52. Join DONA.
53. Work on becoming a certified birth doula.
54. Practice emotion regulation
55. do something everyday off the pleasant activities list.
56. create a self-soothe kit.
57. Bake all the christmas cookies i want to in time for christmas.
58. Keep trying new recipes.
59. Stay active every mary kay quarter.
60. Do a weekly artist date.
61. Keep full ink cartridges in my printer.
62. Create an image journal.
63. Establish a routine of regular exercise.
64. Crochet or knit daily.
65. Visit the corning/corelleware store in corning.
66. Stop relying on meds to help me sleep.
67. Practice keeping a positive outlook.
68.. Reconnect with ned b. fleischer.
69. Keep working on not acting out of fear
70. Keep working on not living in fear.
71. Knit a pair of socks.
72. Go back to Weight Watchers. (eight weeks after c-section)
73. Get back up to 10,000 steps per day by June 1.
74. Attend an information session for Empire State College.
75. Get dressed to hair, face, and shoes every day. (Or, stop treating life like a dress rehearsal!)
76. Work on developing a consistent homeschooling schedule with Melanie.
77. (*private*)
78. Keep exploring my feelings regarding my family.
79. Keep working on re-establishing relationships with my family.
80. Read a book about the lives and times of Catholic saints.
81. Write a positive-themed blog post at least once a week.
82. Keep percolating on the idea of "The Courage to be Thin," either as a separate blog or a non-fiction work.
83. Continue to study and practice dialectical behavior therapy.
84. Stay out of the hospital after baby Marc comes home (ie, no psychiatric hospitalization this time).
85. Read the creating dreams come true blog every Friday.
86. Write a response to the creating dreams come true blog post every week.
87. Spend time with my BFF over Christmas break.
88. Keep up my 4.0 grade-point average.
89. Walk the Simple Abundance path.
90. Use a different daybook every year. (I have about a billion.)
91. (*private*)
92. Help Mom and Dad establish a budget.
93. Stop drinking Coke.
94. Be true to myself. In all my splendidness. In all my imperfectness.
95. Read "Be Here Now," by Ram Dass.
96. Stop letting TV schedules dictate my life.
97. Give up going out to eat for Lent (other than eating on campus).
98. Get a prenatal yoga DVD.
99. Teach Melanie the Lord's Prayer and the Hail Mary.
100. Take Melanie to Catholic church with me.
love~
elizabeth
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010: a year of dreams in review
as we begin 2011, i thought it might be a good idea to review the dreams list i posted earlier in the year, and create a new one for this year.
my friend andrea who is running the creative dreams come true community e-group suggested that we focus on two goals for 2011. things we can really bring to fruition. i really liked the 100 dreams approach, though, so i'm going to stick with it and see how things go.
if i were to pick two goals, it would be building a savings and birthing a healthy child in may. focusing on these two goals has helped clarify some of the other dreams on the list :)
1. get pregnant~Well, I did this one! I originally discovered I was pregnant on May 4, and miscarried a week later. Then we kept trying, and on Labor Day, September 6, discovered I was pregnant again, and this one is sticking! I'll be 21 weeks tomorrow, and the baby, which the ultrasound seems to indicate (with a 90% guess from the tech) is a boy, will be born may 10.
2. heal my marriage~still an ongoing process.
3. get the rest of the seasons of friends on dvd (or deedle-dee as melanie says)~got 3-5. Will get 6 and 7 this semester, 8 this summer, and 9-10 this fall.
4. go back to work~did not get this one done, but have gone back to school in hopes of starting my own business in 2012.
5. build up a savings~was up and down with this one. Have established a consistent saving practice. Now just need to work on not raiding it for wants.
6. pay down my debt~got a start on this one; not a big start, but a start.
7. build up my marykay inventory~made progress.
8. attend a mets game at citi field~did not do this one; will be a dream for 2011
9. move out of my in-laws' house~did not do this one; we discovered that my in-laws have more needs that require us to be on hand. If we get our Gateways funding, will do this in 2011. If not, that's OK too.
10. practice meditation consistently~still a work in progress.
11. read daily~still a work in progress
12. get regular manicure/pedicures~made progress
13. go on a weekly date with my husband~need to keep this as a goal for 2011.
14. visit a state i haven't been to yet~did not do this one, and since our focus is building our emergency fund, will not be a goal for 2011.
15. plan a honeymoon with my husband~still a dream, but a goal for further down the line
16. get melanie potty-trained~made progress here. Still working on it.
17. build etsy inventory~no longer congruent with my life goals.
18. find piano students~i have two; working on building my studio
19. sample local finger lakes wines~goal for summer 2011.
20. create a raised-bed garden...vegetables and herbs~goal for spring/summer 2011.
21. create and sing in a band (or an a-cappella octet)~more of a back-burner dream.
22. volunteer at the horseheads animal shelter~shelter was too eerie.
23. learn to take great landscape photos~still a dream.
24. create inspirational retreats~not sure this is congruent with my life goals anymore.
25. attend celebrate your life~still a dream
26. create an indoor herb garden~goal for 2011
27. create a meditation spot in the back yard~goal for 2011.
28. rebuild my collection of sark books~made progress here. Still working on it.
29. attend a sark event~still a dream, more of a back burner goal.
30. write a new book i'm thinking about. non-fic this time~can't even remember what this is.
31. give a weekly contribution to my church~getting closer. Currently giving a monthly.
32. give an annual contribution to a cause i deem worthy. Working on a list of charities that are important to me and giving a monthly contribution.
33. recover the songs i wrote that i lost on my old computer.~ work in progress.
34. visit aunt kay once a month.~need to work on this. Not sure if it's out of an actual desire to see her or of guilt. She did not sound good when I talked to her in October.
35. lead a creativity or inspiration workshop.~not sure this is congruent with my life goals anymore.
36. write a bio to accompany website and other internet postings for said creativity/inspiration workshop when i prepare it~will need something like this for my business.
37. write gratitudes daily~a work in progress.
38. keep morning pages every day~also a work in progress
39. learn photoshop~still a dream; as far as goals are concerned, more on the back burner now.
40. take a yoga class~started this and plan to re-take it in the fall; it made my morning sickness worse. Planning to purchase a prenatal yoga DVD.
41. go back to school~Done. With a 4.0 GPA!
42. attend new york football giants' training camp. Still want to do this next summer!
43. attend a new york football giants' game at the new stadium: still a dream!
44. go to lexington for final four weekend if uk makes the final four: still a dream, but won't be able to do it this year because i'll be too pregnant!
45. finish my novel: still not sure how to end either of them.
46. self-publish said novel: not congruent with my life goals.
47. win nanowrimo again.: couldn't do nano this past year with school and being pregnant. Felt completely OK with it.
48. plan a playdate with jess.: think I will invite all of them to baby Marc's baptism in June.
49. plan a playdate with tressa.
50. plan a playdate with earl.
51. plan a playdate with gail.
52. plan a playdate with joann.
53. plan a playdate with merideth.
54. get my guitar fixed: only after emergency fund is built.
55. find a local drumming circle: found one in ithaca.
56. buy a drum: only after emergency fund is built.
57. send regular snail mail: still a goal.
58. get phone service where i can call the us and canada for a flat rate: only after emergency fund is built.
59. become fluent in another language: still a dream.
60. get all my christmas decorations up by the day after thanksgiving: still a goal.
61. drink more water: work in progress and getting better at it!
62. get my pilots' license: need to lose a lot of weight first; putting this on the back burner.
63. memorize the gettysburg address: still a goal.
64. memorize my three favorite poems: did one. Need to work on the other two.
65. memorize the declaration of independence: still a goal.
66. learn which constitutional amendment grants which freedom (if i'm going to be indignant about terrorists trying to thwart the american way, i'd better at least know what the american way is, n'est-ce pas?): still a goal.
67. visit a national park: still a goal.
68. make my great-grandmother's cinnamon roll recipe: DID IT! Wasn't superb but I know I can do it now and I'll get better at it.
69. finish the knit/crochet projects i started for christmas presents for last year: still working on it!
70. take weekly spa showers: still a work in progress. Took a spa bath this morning after re-reading this.
71. learn to sew: still a goal
72. spend quiet time working on songwriting: still a goal.
73. write more music: wrote some more lyrics this year.
74. do arrangements for my octet: not sure this is congruent with my life goals anymore.
75. practice radical acceptance of myself as i am: still a work-in-progress
76. memorize the sigma alpha iota symphony: still a goal
77. join the uk alumni association: still a goal but not until our emergency fund is built.
78. join a sigma alpha iota alumnae chapter: DONE.
79. join acda: when emergency fund is built.
80. join dona: still a goal.
81. work on becoming a certified birth doula: still a goal.
82. practice emotion regulation: a work-in-progress, but daily morning pages and prayer are part of this and i've been doing that every day for about the past month.
83. do something everyday off the pleasant activities list: still a goal.
84. create a self-soothe kit: still a goal.
85. bake all the christmas cookies i want to in time for christmas: did better with this one this year; also still a goal
86. keep trying new recipes: also still a goal
87. stay active every mary kay quarter: definitely a goal this year.
88. attend mary kay seminar in dallas: a goal for 2012.
89. do a weekly artist date: still a goal.
90. keep full ink cartridges in my printer: still a goal; or get a new printer, after we build emergency fund.
91. establish an adult choir at my church: no longer congruent with my life goals.
92. create an image journal: will be doing an illustrated discovery journal for simple abundance this year, so this will be happening in 2011.
93. establish a routine of regular exercise: still a goal. Working on increasing walking and plan to do yoga 3x a week once I get the prenatal dvd.
94. crochet or knit daily: needs to be a goal.
95. visit the corning museum of glass: after emergency fund is built.
96. take anna and melanie to the strong museum in rochester: after emergency fund is built.
97. visit the corning/corelleware store in corning: still a goal.
98. try new local restaurants: after emergency fund is built.
99. stop relying on meds to help me sleep: still a goal.
100. practice keeping a positive outlook: still a goal.
101. reconnect with ned b. fleischer: still a goal.
102. rebuild my collection of sheet music: a work-in-progress, but on hold until after emergency fund is built.
103. take a glider ride at harris hill: have to lose a lot of weight first.
104. stop acting out of fear: still a work-in-progress.
105. stop living in fear: still a work-in-progress.
106. master knitting socks. (maybe wooden needles will help.): still a goal.
more later...
love~
elizabeth
my friend andrea who is running the creative dreams come true community e-group suggested that we focus on two goals for 2011. things we can really bring to fruition. i really liked the 100 dreams approach, though, so i'm going to stick with it and see how things go.
if i were to pick two goals, it would be building a savings and birthing a healthy child in may. focusing on these two goals has helped clarify some of the other dreams on the list :)
1. get pregnant~Well, I did this one! I originally discovered I was pregnant on May 4, and miscarried a week later. Then we kept trying, and on Labor Day, September 6, discovered I was pregnant again, and this one is sticking! I'll be 21 weeks tomorrow, and the baby, which the ultrasound seems to indicate (with a 90% guess from the tech) is a boy, will be born may 10.
2. heal my marriage~still an ongoing process.
3. get the rest of the seasons of friends on dvd (or deedle-dee as melanie says)~got 3-5. Will get 6 and 7 this semester, 8 this summer, and 9-10 this fall.
4. go back to work~did not get this one done, but have gone back to school in hopes of starting my own business in 2012.
5. build up a savings~was up and down with this one. Have established a consistent saving practice. Now just need to work on not raiding it for wants.
6. pay down my debt~got a start on this one; not a big start, but a start.
7. build up my marykay inventory~made progress.
8. attend a mets game at citi field~did not do this one; will be a dream for 2011
9. move out of my in-laws' house~did not do this one; we discovered that my in-laws have more needs that require us to be on hand. If we get our Gateways funding, will do this in 2011. If not, that's OK too.
10. practice meditation consistently~still a work in progress.
11. read daily~still a work in progress
12. get regular manicure/pedicures~made progress
13. go on a weekly date with my husband~need to keep this as a goal for 2011.
14. visit a state i haven't been to yet~did not do this one, and since our focus is building our emergency fund, will not be a goal for 2011.
15. plan a honeymoon with my husband~still a dream, but a goal for further down the line
16. get melanie potty-trained~made progress here. Still working on it.
17. build etsy inventory~no longer congruent with my life goals.
18. find piano students~i have two; working on building my studio
19. sample local finger lakes wines~goal for summer 2011.
20. create a raised-bed garden...vegetables and herbs~goal for spring/summer 2011.
21. create and sing in a band (or an a-cappella octet)~more of a back-burner dream.
22. volunteer at the horseheads animal shelter~shelter was too eerie.
23. learn to take great landscape photos~still a dream.
24. create inspirational retreats~not sure this is congruent with my life goals anymore.
25. attend celebrate your life~still a dream
26. create an indoor herb garden~goal for 2011
27. create a meditation spot in the back yard~goal for 2011.
28. rebuild my collection of sark books~made progress here. Still working on it.
29. attend a sark event~still a dream, more of a back burner goal.
30. write a new book i'm thinking about. non-fic this time~can't even remember what this is.
31. give a weekly contribution to my church~getting closer. Currently giving a monthly.
32. give an annual contribution to a cause i deem worthy. Working on a list of charities that are important to me and giving a monthly contribution.
33. recover the songs i wrote that i lost on my old computer.~ work in progress.
34. visit aunt kay once a month.~need to work on this. Not sure if it's out of an actual desire to see her or of guilt. She did not sound good when I talked to her in October.
35. lead a creativity or inspiration workshop.~not sure this is congruent with my life goals anymore.
36. write a bio to accompany website and other internet postings for said creativity/inspiration workshop when i prepare it~will need something like this for my business.
37. write gratitudes daily~a work in progress.
38. keep morning pages every day~also a work in progress
39. learn photoshop~still a dream; as far as goals are concerned, more on the back burner now.
40. take a yoga class~started this and plan to re-take it in the fall; it made my morning sickness worse. Planning to purchase a prenatal yoga DVD.
41. go back to school~Done. With a 4.0 GPA!
42. attend new york football giants' training camp. Still want to do this next summer!
43. attend a new york football giants' game at the new stadium: still a dream!
44. go to lexington for final four weekend if uk makes the final four: still a dream, but won't be able to do it this year because i'll be too pregnant!
45. finish my novel: still not sure how to end either of them.
46. self-publish said novel: not congruent with my life goals.
47. win nanowrimo again.: couldn't do nano this past year with school and being pregnant. Felt completely OK with it.
48. plan a playdate with jess.: think I will invite all of them to baby Marc's baptism in June.
49. plan a playdate with tressa.
50. plan a playdate with earl.
51. plan a playdate with gail.
52. plan a playdate with joann.
53. plan a playdate with merideth.
54. get my guitar fixed: only after emergency fund is built.
55. find a local drumming circle: found one in ithaca.
56. buy a drum: only after emergency fund is built.
57. send regular snail mail: still a goal.
58. get phone service where i can call the us and canada for a flat rate: only after emergency fund is built.
59. become fluent in another language: still a dream.
60. get all my christmas decorations up by the day after thanksgiving: still a goal.
61. drink more water: work in progress and getting better at it!
62. get my pilots' license: need to lose a lot of weight first; putting this on the back burner.
63. memorize the gettysburg address: still a goal.
64. memorize my three favorite poems: did one. Need to work on the other two.
65. memorize the declaration of independence: still a goal.
66. learn which constitutional amendment grants which freedom (if i'm going to be indignant about terrorists trying to thwart the american way, i'd better at least know what the american way is, n'est-ce pas?): still a goal.
67. visit a national park: still a goal.
68. make my great-grandmother's cinnamon roll recipe: DID IT! Wasn't superb but I know I can do it now and I'll get better at it.
69. finish the knit/crochet projects i started for christmas presents for last year: still working on it!
70. take weekly spa showers: still a work in progress. Took a spa bath this morning after re-reading this.
71. learn to sew: still a goal
72. spend quiet time working on songwriting: still a goal.
73. write more music: wrote some more lyrics this year.
74. do arrangements for my octet: not sure this is congruent with my life goals anymore.
75. practice radical acceptance of myself as i am: still a work-in-progress
76. memorize the sigma alpha iota symphony: still a goal
77. join the uk alumni association: still a goal but not until our emergency fund is built.
78. join a sigma alpha iota alumnae chapter: DONE.
79. join acda: when emergency fund is built.
80. join dona: still a goal.
81. work on becoming a certified birth doula: still a goal.
82. practice emotion regulation: a work-in-progress, but daily morning pages and prayer are part of this and i've been doing that every day for about the past month.
83. do something everyday off the pleasant activities list: still a goal.
84. create a self-soothe kit: still a goal.
85. bake all the christmas cookies i want to in time for christmas: did better with this one this year; also still a goal
86. keep trying new recipes: also still a goal
87. stay active every mary kay quarter: definitely a goal this year.
88. attend mary kay seminar in dallas: a goal for 2012.
89. do a weekly artist date: still a goal.
90. keep full ink cartridges in my printer: still a goal; or get a new printer, after we build emergency fund.
91. establish an adult choir at my church: no longer congruent with my life goals.
92. create an image journal: will be doing an illustrated discovery journal for simple abundance this year, so this will be happening in 2011.
93. establish a routine of regular exercise: still a goal. Working on increasing walking and plan to do yoga 3x a week once I get the prenatal dvd.
94. crochet or knit daily: needs to be a goal.
95. visit the corning museum of glass: after emergency fund is built.
96. take anna and melanie to the strong museum in rochester: after emergency fund is built.
97. visit the corning/corelleware store in corning: still a goal.
98. try new local restaurants: after emergency fund is built.
99. stop relying on meds to help me sleep: still a goal.
100. practice keeping a positive outlook: still a goal.
101. reconnect with ned b. fleischer: still a goal.
102. rebuild my collection of sheet music: a work-in-progress, but on hold until after emergency fund is built.
103. take a glider ride at harris hill: have to lose a lot of weight first.
104. stop acting out of fear: still a work-in-progress.
105. stop living in fear: still a work-in-progress.
106. master knitting socks. (maybe wooden needles will help.): still a goal.
more later...
love~
elizabeth
Sunday, November 7, 2010
an update to my previous post...
well, my family and i have had it with our unitarian fellowship.
and i need to inform that i'm also the pianist there. it's my responsibility to choose preludes, offertories, and postludes for each service, and play whatever hymns are chosen by whoever is organizing the service.
twice in the past month, i played no hymns because whoever organized the service was either playing them themselves, or preferred that we do them a cappella. that's a waste of my time.
earlier this fall, i got raked over the coals for not submitting my selections for prelude, offertory, and postlude early enough or in the proper format (i haven't used caps in e-mails or any online communication in about ten years).
and then last weekend, i got yelled at for not putting melanie in the nursery. and not only did i get yelled at for it, when she said she wanted to stay with mommy and i told her i was sorry, i got a phone call from the RE coordinator telling me that i was reflecting badly on the nursery program by telling her i was sorry she had to go back there. when i explained that i was responding to her request to stay with mommy, she said, "well, do you really expect to be with her 24/7?" wtf? she's hardly with me at all during the week because i'm so busy with school. when she can see me, she wants me. when she can see me and can't have me, she gets some separation anxiety.
now long before the phone call, i had decided that melanie would stay home this sunday because i thought it best to subject her to the separation anxiety only once, when we left the house. after the phone call, i had decided that i was going to go worship at st. mary our mother, around the corner from our house. going there felt like home. it felt so good. so i'm going to go to the 8:30 mass there, and then go play at the fellowship. instead of my place of worship, it's now my workplace.
more later...
and i need to inform that i'm also the pianist there. it's my responsibility to choose preludes, offertories, and postludes for each service, and play whatever hymns are chosen by whoever is organizing the service.
twice in the past month, i played no hymns because whoever organized the service was either playing them themselves, or preferred that we do them a cappella. that's a waste of my time.
earlier this fall, i got raked over the coals for not submitting my selections for prelude, offertory, and postlude early enough or in the proper format (i haven't used caps in e-mails or any online communication in about ten years).
and then last weekend, i got yelled at for not putting melanie in the nursery. and not only did i get yelled at for it, when she said she wanted to stay with mommy and i told her i was sorry, i got a phone call from the RE coordinator telling me that i was reflecting badly on the nursery program by telling her i was sorry she had to go back there. when i explained that i was responding to her request to stay with mommy, she said, "well, do you really expect to be with her 24/7?" wtf? she's hardly with me at all during the week because i'm so busy with school. when she can see me, she wants me. when she can see me and can't have me, she gets some separation anxiety.
now long before the phone call, i had decided that melanie would stay home this sunday because i thought it best to subject her to the separation anxiety only once, when we left the house. after the phone call, i had decided that i was going to go worship at st. mary our mother, around the corner from our house. going there felt like home. it felt so good. so i'm going to go to the 8:30 mass there, and then go play at the fellowship. instead of my place of worship, it's now my workplace.
more later...
Saturday, September 25, 2010
how to raise your kids right
and please do not think that the title implies in any way that i'm an authority on the subject.
these may be the insane ramblings of an insomniac, allergy-infested, overtired, dehydrated, pregnant woman at 3 in the morning.
or maybe they do provide some insight. i don't know.
i attend a unitarian universalist fellowship. there's a saying that it takes all kinds to make the world go round. well, at a unitarian universalist fellowship, you find all kinds.
at our particular unitarian universalist fellowship, however, belief in any kind of a higher power other than science or nature is certainly NOT the majority.
having been raised with a strong faith tradition, i find it difficult to wrap my brain around this.
for years, i was raised to believe that madeline murray o'hare, a woman who worked tirelessly to get all reference to religion out of public communication (specifically, tv and radio), was public enemy #1 to anyone who believed in god.
i get to our UUF and find that to many of the members, she's a hero.
whether or not religious programming should be made available to people who choose to view it is a subject for another post.
what i'm writing about is raising kids unitarian.
and i'm not sure i like what i see.
we have a family in our fellowship that is a very good, upright, moral family, with two wonder*full parents, and two young (8 and 5) children who are very polite, intelligent individuals. the mom is a working artist (a real live artist! SHE's my hero!) and the dad is a philosophy professor at a local college. i consider these people my friends, have no problem either being in their home or having them in mine, and i'm glad that our children play together because their kids are so wonderful with my two year old.
however, a couple of nights ago, the dad posted on his facebook status about his son asking him some questions about god and ghosts, and the dad rejoiced when his 5-year-old son said that god was dead and praised him for being "his little nietzschean (sp?)"
this breaks my heart.
in my experience, for faith to be true, it always had to be childlike. full of wonder, innocent, trusting.
and when i hear a five year old child saying things like god is dead, it makes me wonder where the hope for the future is in unitarian universalism.
we have another family in our fellowship whose 17 year old son just went off to college. he did a sermon as kind of a coming-of-age service at the end of our "church year" (we do small group ministry in the summer, so his was the last regular service of the season). and this young man said that he searched for answers in every faith tradition he could get his hands on a book to read about and hadn't found his answers.
so i asked him where he found hope, and he said, "there isn't any."
so i asked him what gets him out of bed in the morning, and his mother, jokingly, said, "me."
while that was funny, it really didn't answer my question. it was a serious one. i'm raising a two-year-old in this faith. i'm going to be bringing a newborn into this faith. freedom to choose what you do and don't believe in sounds like a good thing, but do i really want my children to grow up in a world where god is dead and there is no hope and the only thing that gets them out of bed in the morning is me standing over them with a cattle prod?
the seven principles of unitarian universalism provide a solid moral framework for how to live your life.
* The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
* Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
* Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
* A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
* The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;
* The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;
* Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.
i grew up in the catholic tradition, and perhaps with the exception of "a free and responsible search for truth and meaning," and "the right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large," the catholic church does teach that.
but the catholic church also teaches that its earthbound leader is more than human, if not equal with God. (the pope is supposedly "infallible;" um, he's still human, right?)
and currently, it further teaches that women cannot be full leaders.
that if leaders abuse children in unspeakable ways we just send them to another parish.
that doctors who perform legal, safe abortions are evil, but people who bomb abortion clinics are working for the greater good.
(while certain individual pastors speak out against these things, this is the "party line," so to speak.)
and i have a big problem teaching my daughter (and baby shrimp) that that's OK.
i still love the structure of the Mass. basically, my philosophy is, it's not God and Jesus i have a problem with. in the immortal words of rufus the prophet from kevin smith's movie dogma, "it's the shit that gets carried out in (their) name...wars, bigotry, televangelism." it's the way that people ~ FALLIBLE PEOPLE, THE POPE INCLUDED ~ pervert the overall message. any psychopath can skew the bible to support his message, but in English classes in school, we're taught to read for an overall theme. and if you read the bible, its overall theme is love.
one of the greatest things i ever heard spoken in a catholic church was not spoken by a priest. it was spoken by a campus minister with a master's in theology from berkeley. him i will mention by name: it was kevin steele. at the easter vigil, he was allowed to proclaim the gospel and give the homily, and he said, "if god is love, then the proper response to that is to live loving lives."
hmm. maybe i did find my answer after all...
more later...
these may be the insane ramblings of an insomniac, allergy-infested, overtired, dehydrated, pregnant woman at 3 in the morning.
or maybe they do provide some insight. i don't know.
i attend a unitarian universalist fellowship. there's a saying that it takes all kinds to make the world go round. well, at a unitarian universalist fellowship, you find all kinds.
at our particular unitarian universalist fellowship, however, belief in any kind of a higher power other than science or nature is certainly NOT the majority.
having been raised with a strong faith tradition, i find it difficult to wrap my brain around this.
for years, i was raised to believe that madeline murray o'hare, a woman who worked tirelessly to get all reference to religion out of public communication (specifically, tv and radio), was public enemy #1 to anyone who believed in god.
i get to our UUF and find that to many of the members, she's a hero.
whether or not religious programming should be made available to people who choose to view it is a subject for another post.
what i'm writing about is raising kids unitarian.
and i'm not sure i like what i see.
we have a family in our fellowship that is a very good, upright, moral family, with two wonder*full parents, and two young (8 and 5) children who are very polite, intelligent individuals. the mom is a working artist (a real live artist! SHE's my hero!) and the dad is a philosophy professor at a local college. i consider these people my friends, have no problem either being in their home or having them in mine, and i'm glad that our children play together because their kids are so wonderful with my two year old.
however, a couple of nights ago, the dad posted on his facebook status about his son asking him some questions about god and ghosts, and the dad rejoiced when his 5-year-old son said that god was dead and praised him for being "his little nietzschean (sp?)"
this breaks my heart.
in my experience, for faith to be true, it always had to be childlike. full of wonder, innocent, trusting.
and when i hear a five year old child saying things like god is dead, it makes me wonder where the hope for the future is in unitarian universalism.
we have another family in our fellowship whose 17 year old son just went off to college. he did a sermon as kind of a coming-of-age service at the end of our "church year" (we do small group ministry in the summer, so his was the last regular service of the season). and this young man said that he searched for answers in every faith tradition he could get his hands on a book to read about and hadn't found his answers.
so i asked him where he found hope, and he said, "there isn't any."
so i asked him what gets him out of bed in the morning, and his mother, jokingly, said, "me."
while that was funny, it really didn't answer my question. it was a serious one. i'm raising a two-year-old in this faith. i'm going to be bringing a newborn into this faith. freedom to choose what you do and don't believe in sounds like a good thing, but do i really want my children to grow up in a world where god is dead and there is no hope and the only thing that gets them out of bed in the morning is me standing over them with a cattle prod?
the seven principles of unitarian universalism provide a solid moral framework for how to live your life.
* The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
* Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
* Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
* A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
* The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;
* The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;
* Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.
i grew up in the catholic tradition, and perhaps with the exception of "a free and responsible search for truth and meaning," and "the right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large," the catholic church does teach that.
but the catholic church also teaches that its earthbound leader is more than human, if not equal with God. (the pope is supposedly "infallible;" um, he's still human, right?)
and currently, it further teaches that women cannot be full leaders.
that if leaders abuse children in unspeakable ways we just send them to another parish.
that doctors who perform legal, safe abortions are evil, but people who bomb abortion clinics are working for the greater good.
(while certain individual pastors speak out against these things, this is the "party line," so to speak.)
and i have a big problem teaching my daughter (and baby shrimp) that that's OK.
i still love the structure of the Mass. basically, my philosophy is, it's not God and Jesus i have a problem with. in the immortal words of rufus the prophet from kevin smith's movie dogma, "it's the shit that gets carried out in (their) name...wars, bigotry, televangelism." it's the way that people ~ FALLIBLE PEOPLE, THE POPE INCLUDED ~ pervert the overall message. any psychopath can skew the bible to support his message, but in English classes in school, we're taught to read for an overall theme. and if you read the bible, its overall theme is love.
one of the greatest things i ever heard spoken in a catholic church was not spoken by a priest. it was spoken by a campus minister with a master's in theology from berkeley. him i will mention by name: it was kevin steele. at the easter vigil, he was allowed to proclaim the gospel and give the homily, and he said, "if god is love, then the proper response to that is to live loving lives."
hmm. maybe i did find my answer after all...
more later...
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
lactivism
apparently recently there has been a recall of similac formula. they found bugs in it. i am as grossed out about this as anybody.
but i have a lot of friends who consider themselves "lactivists;" people who are advocates for breastfeeding, and i'm really put off by their comments about this. i think it's really snotty to say things like, "just saying, but breastmilk has never been recalled."
i support breastfeeding and believe that breast milk is the best possible nutrition for a baby. but as a mother who is unable to breastfeed due to being on medications that would cross into my milk, i am offended by the insinuation that mothers who choose to formula-feed for whatever reason somehow are inferior as parents. i mean, since i am physically unable to breastfeed, i suppose i should make arrangements to abort the child i'm currently carrying and immediately be sterilized.
but i have a lot of friends who consider themselves "lactivists;" people who are advocates for breastfeeding, and i'm really put off by their comments about this. i think it's really snotty to say things like, "just saying, but breastmilk has never been recalled."
i support breastfeeding and believe that breast milk is the best possible nutrition for a baby. but as a mother who is unable to breastfeed due to being on medications that would cross into my milk, i am offended by the insinuation that mothers who choose to formula-feed for whatever reason somehow are inferior as parents. i mean, since i am physically unable to breastfeed, i suppose i should make arrangements to abort the child i'm currently carrying and immediately be sterilized.
Friday, April 2, 2010
catch-up, part deux
well, i took some of my affirmations and wrote them in my datebook. (i like that; it's a good reminder; and it will help me remember to check my calendar!!!!!) this was assignment #5.
and assignment #6 was creating space for your dreams.
we have recently gone through our bedroom and opened up a LOT of room. we got new nightstands, and my partner took some of the bookshelves and put them on top of the new nightstands. that opened up some wall space. we cleaned off the dresser. it is really starting to feel peace*full instead of cluttered in there.
the next assignment was to have some kind of adventure.
we're having one april 17 so i'll report back then :)
after that, we had "what do your creative dreams need?" week
and i think they need me to ask for what i need.
and not be willing to stop at the first no.
i had an appointment with my voc rehab counselor this past week. and i was watching this episode of the office last night where jim and pam had their baby. this one nurse wanted to take the baby to the nursery and give her a bottle because pam was having trouble getting her to latch to breastfeed and pam said, "no, please don't give her a bottle, i don't want her to have nipple confusion." the nurse actually rolled her eyes, and said very sarcastically, "oh good. you know everything." and that's how i feel like i'm being treated by my VR counselor. i went in and told her all about how happy i've been in my little fledgling studio, and how i want to start teaching musikgarten classes to round out my teaching schedule and build it up to full-time income. as soon as i mentioned there was additional training involved, she shut me down, said that they wouldn't be able to do anything to help me with that, and that they would only be able to do something related to my bachelor's degree and my marketable skills. something either in tutoring or secretarial work.
now secretarial work is all well and good. i've done it; i've even enjoyed it. however, it doesn't make every fiber of my being hum and thrum like this one-on-one teaching does. (the musikgarten will be teaching to small groups but still...)
well, i went to my group on thursday, and my group leader suggested that i contact someone higher up at voc rehab to see if i could get some more help. they have a client assistance program, so i called our regional office. i left a message and got a call back a couple hours later. the man i spoke to is going to refer my message to the appropriate person and to expect a call around tuesday to discuss what the next step might be.
i am working so hard on not being afraid to ask for what i need.
so that's the news from here on that score.
the next assignment was on commitment. andrea asked these three questions.
* are you committed to living your dreams? YES! this feels like the right path more than anything i've ever done!
* can you see a way of becoming even more committed to living your dreams? not right now, but i will write this question into my datebook and my journal and see if i can't find a way!
* do you have any commitments that are draining you? therapy and my groups drain me, but one group is finishing up in another month or so. i'm starting another one this week, which means i'll have to give up my regular thursday group. but hope*fully this one won't last too long. and besides, this is really important. i actually had a bit of a backslide last week so it's good that i'm sticking to this.
yay! i'm caught up!!!!!!!
love~
elizabeth
and assignment #6 was creating space for your dreams.
we have recently gone through our bedroom and opened up a LOT of room. we got new nightstands, and my partner took some of the bookshelves and put them on top of the new nightstands. that opened up some wall space. we cleaned off the dresser. it is really starting to feel peace*full instead of cluttered in there.
the next assignment was to have some kind of adventure.
we're having one april 17 so i'll report back then :)
after that, we had "what do your creative dreams need?" week
and i think they need me to ask for what i need.
and not be willing to stop at the first no.
i had an appointment with my voc rehab counselor this past week. and i was watching this episode of the office last night where jim and pam had their baby. this one nurse wanted to take the baby to the nursery and give her a bottle because pam was having trouble getting her to latch to breastfeed and pam said, "no, please don't give her a bottle, i don't want her to have nipple confusion." the nurse actually rolled her eyes, and said very sarcastically, "oh good. you know everything." and that's how i feel like i'm being treated by my VR counselor. i went in and told her all about how happy i've been in my little fledgling studio, and how i want to start teaching musikgarten classes to round out my teaching schedule and build it up to full-time income. as soon as i mentioned there was additional training involved, she shut me down, said that they wouldn't be able to do anything to help me with that, and that they would only be able to do something related to my bachelor's degree and my marketable skills. something either in tutoring or secretarial work.
now secretarial work is all well and good. i've done it; i've even enjoyed it. however, it doesn't make every fiber of my being hum and thrum like this one-on-one teaching does. (the musikgarten will be teaching to small groups but still...)
well, i went to my group on thursday, and my group leader suggested that i contact someone higher up at voc rehab to see if i could get some more help. they have a client assistance program, so i called our regional office. i left a message and got a call back a couple hours later. the man i spoke to is going to refer my message to the appropriate person and to expect a call around tuesday to discuss what the next step might be.
i am working so hard on not being afraid to ask for what i need.
so that's the news from here on that score.
the next assignment was on commitment. andrea asked these three questions.
* are you committed to living your dreams? YES! this feels like the right path more than anything i've ever done!
* can you see a way of becoming even more committed to living your dreams? not right now, but i will write this question into my datebook and my journal and see if i can't find a way!
* do you have any commitments that are draining you? therapy and my groups drain me, but one group is finishing up in another month or so. i'm starting another one this week, which means i'll have to give up my regular thursday group. but hope*fully this one won't last too long. and besides, this is really important. i actually had a bit of a backslide last week so it's good that i'm sticking to this.
yay! i'm caught up!!!!!!!
love~
elizabeth
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
